Paul atten Ash
The ‘Golden Mean’
‘The middle way is best, and safest’ – Ted Hughes, Tales from Ovid, ‘Phaethon’
emotionally blunted | that is what I hear myself say into the phone |
a doctor at the other end | tapping ‘b-l-u-n-t-e-d’ into a keyboard |
an awkward ache of air sits between us | I have never felt so alone |
I want to tell her | but ten minutes of her life is all she can afford |
no | there is never enough time | to distil each vital drop of pain
into a neat little box | 14 lines max. to squeeze in all the madness |
medicinally blocked | how I long to feel things too sharply again |
a Phaethon | burning to shine a great light on the world’s sadness |
let me fail to follow the ‘golden mean’ | to eschew the middle way |
and like the Sun-god’s ‘brain-sick son’ | ride the arc of my oblivion |
to cling to the reins of the squalling soul | & spin out | that is to say |
haunted by human horror | consumed by anxiety | & grief-stricken |
this is the brittle white pill | numbing on its way down | Phaethon’s
body | a slow-falling speck | a burnt-out star | witnessed by no-one
Paul atten Ash is the pseudonym of Bristol UK-based writer Paul Nash. Paul’s work has been published by 6 Music, Acid Bath, Broken Sleep, Butcher’s Dog, Dark Mountain, Magma, PBLJ, Poetry Scotland, Shooter, Under The Radar, among others. Searchlight Seasons, his debut pamphlet, was published by Atomic Bohemian (2024). Paul is curating a multi-contributor ecopoetry project, We Dream in Green.